We are all surrounded around toxic people, they are our co-workers, spouses, friends, and family. Many of us have developed strong emotional ties to toxic people and struggle with ways to deal with them because you don’t want to let them down or hurt their feelings. But in the end, you are the one that ends up hurt or let down. So, what do you do?
First, lets discuss what a toxic person is. A toxic person is a liar, manipulator, control-freak, gossip,. They lack compassion, have addiction issues, can be condescending, etc. But those are the obvious types, right?.
Well, what about the not so obvious types?
I use to be surrounded by so many toxic people and did not even know it because they were nice and did the bare minimum to make me think they were my true friends. But the more I grew spiritually, I started paying attention and began to realize there was an imbalance. I started paying attention to how my mood would change, my thoughts would change, and how my behavior and circumstances would change when I was around certain people; and I was like, no this is not a healthy relationship and I deserve more. I deserve better.
Toxic people are your friends, co workers, spouses, and family who always have drama (often the same drama over and over), lots of problems but no solutions, are self-centered, jealous and envious, always victims (never learn from their mistakes or situations) and a sense of entitlement. They always need, need, need, and take, take, take; but rarely, if ever, reciprocate. They make decisions and then expect you to help them when everything goes wrong (and of course you have to help them because ya’ll are friends or family right?!). Expects you to always be there for them, but they are rarely, and sometimes never, there for you ( I call them energy vampires). They have attitudes all of the time, and expects you to just accept it because that’s who they are (you know the type, this is who I am and if you don’t like it, oh well). Toxic people are always negative, when you are around them they just complain, nag, and just nothing positive to say (also energy vampires). Toxic people don’t exhibit any growth. Toxic people are the ones who call and say, “hey let’s catch up”, but the entire conversation is all about them. Or they only think about you when they need something. You get the drift, I don’t think I need to go on.
The funny thing about that list is, the people that exhibit that behavior or those characteristics will call you the toxic one because you don’t want to deal with their BS. A toxic person will never admit that they are toxic. Instead, they will say everyone else is the problem. So, let me tell you, you have every right to not want to deal with that person.
I do not care how long you have been friends with someone, I do not care how long you have been in a relationship with someone, I do not care if the person is your sibling; you do not have to always be there or have that person around you. I have had to cut people out of my life. I just pray for them and love them from a distance.
Set boundaries. A toxic person will never be there for you like you are there for them. A toxic person will never support you, listen to you, or give to you the way you do for them. Set boundaries. Set boundaries. Set boundaries. And do not feel guilty. You are not selfish because you are protecting your energy.
Setting boundaries require you to communicate that you are not comfortable doing something that has been asked for you to do. You also set boundaries by communicating to the other person how you expect to be treated within the relationship, regardless of whether you are friends, family, or intimate. In some cases, the toxicity has been going on for years and you are tired. However, it is not too late to set those boundaries. Communication is key. If setting boundaries with someone upsets them. If they run to social media and make a post that says, “Can’t ask no one for ish…” “No one don’t ever do anything for me…” That person don’t appreciate you and it is time to let them go. Someone that cares for you will understand and respect your boundaries.
Set boundaries. Protect your energy. Embrace healthy and balanced relationships. And enjoy a peaceful mind.